Can't Fight This Feeling
by StarsnCyanide
Summary: When you love someone you don't let anything stop you're feelings for them.  Eli/Clare Rated M 3
1. Part 1

A/N: Originally this was gonna be a one shot but it's pretty long so I'll just make it two parts.

Guess I'm writing this to make up for the lack of Eli and Clare in my other fanfic "Awestruck" lol.

Uh I guess you could call this incest so if you're uncomfortable I'd advise you not to read. It's rated M for a reason.

**Can't Fight This Feeling**

_Part One_

**Clare's P.O.V **

Life could not be any worse. It was the day of my mom's ceremony. She and my dad had been divorced for six months. She had told me that she didn't want a big wedding only a small ceremony to commence her 'new and better life'. I wasn't mad because she was getting re-married. I loved my mom and wanted her to be happy. I was mad because of who she was getting married to.

**Eli's P.O.V**

I stared at my shoes in the church pew. I didn't even know what to think anymore. My dad didn't really ever care about my opinions. It's not that I didn't want him to be happy it's just... Why did he have to be marrying her? I looked down the aisle to see some of the bride's maids standing there. They weren't elaborate dressed that you'd find in a big wedding just simple sun dresses. It was April anyway. Clare and I had been dating since winter exams, after the dance. My dad sat me down a few weeks ago and said he had been seeing the most wonderful woman in the world and was thinking about asking her to marry him. I told him he should go for it, that he deserved to be happy. That was, until I found out the woman was Clare's mom.

**Clare's P.O.V**

I looked up at the first row of pews. It was funny to see Eli in a church. He was looking back at me. I smiled at first but then got a little sad. I had begged my mom to understand my feelings. I loved Eli even though I had never told him and he hadn't told me, and now her marrying his dad made it so we couldn't be together. What would people think if they knew our parents got married and we were still dating? It would just be weird. Plus my mom wanted Eli's dad to legally adopt Darcy and me, I'd have the same last name as Eli. It was so frustrating to think of. A few months before my mom had told me that she was getting married to Eli's dad I had decided that Eli was the boy I was going to lose my virginity to. I had talked to my older sister about it and she told me most of the things my mom tells me is a bunch of bull shit. I didn't want to be 'Saint Clare' forever. He hadn't told me that he loved me but I knew he was just afraid. I didn't get the chance to tell Eli and the most we had really done was make-out and he would touch some of my areas through my clothes. I guess he thought I didn't want it and I was too much of a chicken to tell him otherwise. The music started and my mom stood next to me. The doors to the back of the church were closed now so you couldn't see.

"Hey honey." My mom said to me.

I ignored her at first but then said hello and sighed.

"Your still mad?" She asked me

"Mom, I'm never going to not be mad. Your taking away the only thing that's important to me."

"Do not do this now, Clare." she said sternly.

With her there was never a good time to do anything. I decided to just stay quiet.

**Eli's P.O.V**

The doors shut to the back of the church and I faced forward. I stood up when my dad motioned for me to go stand next to him along with the other people he had chose to stand there. I rolled my eyes and got up. I was not happy about this. Clare was everything to me. Why was it that every time I was happy with something life had to come and take it away. I hadn't really spoken to my dad. Clare and I were on April vacation from school this week but as far as everyone at school knew we were still together. We talked it over and decided it'd be best if we spent our last few days as an actual couple rather than breaking up. I hadn't spoken to Clare all day. I couldn't even look at her. How was I supposed to live with her as my...sister? I didn't want to break up with her. I loved her. Now I was going to have to ignore her as if she was never anything to me. The music started playing and the doors opened. Clare's sister Darcy was first to walk out followed by some girls I didn't know and then Clare. I watched her walk staring her down as I watched ever curve of her move. How was I supposed to think of such a beautiful girl as my sister when she made me excited in ways that a 'sister' shouldn't? This sucked. I stared blankly pretending to look interested as the ceremony continued. The priest continued and asked if any was opposed to the marriage about to take place. I wanted to scream. "Me! I am. I am in love with that woman's daughter and I can't allow this marriage to happen." but I kept my mouth closed. I knew if I said anything to ruin my dad's big day I'd be punished forever.

**Clare's P.O.V**

I glanced over at Eli as the priest spoke to my mom and Eli's dad. He was obviously spacing out. I was upset because he would never look at me the same way again after today. Why couldn't my mom just understand?

We all had to walk out of the church in pairs and get into the limo. Eli was my 'escort'. We didn't speak walking out of the church or even in the limo on the ride to the hall where the reception was. It was weird to sit next to him and have him not hold my hand or kiss me on the cheek. I hated it. Everyone in the limo was talking except for Eli and me.

"Are you guys just not gonna talk to each other?" Darcy whispered to me.

She had come back for the wedding.

"It's a little awkward in case you didn't notice." I mumbled.

"Well, you're going to be living together; you can't ignore each others existence forever."

'I can try.' I thought to myself.

**Eli's P.O.V**

The limo ride was painful. I knew Clare was hurt because I was ignoring her but it was the only way I could think of to deal with this. If I looked at her I would want to kiss her and we agreed that after the marriage between our parents was official we wouldn't show affection anymore. Clare and Darcy talked a little but I stayed silent. We arrived at the hall and everyone stepped out. There had been a rehearsal and when we all walked in they had to announce us. Clare and I were being introduced as "The Son and Daughter of the bride and groom." That pissed me off. Everything about this day sucked. We even had to dance together. I wanted my first real dance with Clare to be at junior prom in a few months. Now I can't even take her because everyone will say that I am taking my sister.

After the painful introductions and speeches it was time for the wedding party to dance. Clare and I took the dance floor and some people took pictures.

"Are you going to ignore me forever now?" Clare asked me very bluntly.

"I don't want to." I said "It's just too hard to look at you." I said finally meeting her blue eyes with mine for the first time today.

"I'd rather be your sister than nothing to you." She said.

"I'd rather you be my girlfriend again. I can't stand not kissing you." At any other time that would be where I would kiss her but that would never happen again.

"Eli," Clare sighed."There's nothing we can do but accept it." She had given up. I thought I was teaching her better than that this whole time we'd been together.

"There's plenty more we can do." I said.

"But, our parents would be mad if we did anything stupid."

"We need to show them how much we mean to each other." I said sharply.

"But..." Clare hesitated. "Maybe we weren't meant to be together and that's why this is happening." She said tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Don't even think like that." I said a little hurt.

The music ended and we went back to take our seats.

**Clare's P.O.V**

I couldn't fight my mom's wishes like Eli wanted me to. Besides, how would we 'show them how much we mean to each other' anyway? I've already tried to explain it to my mom a hundred times. Nothing I said got through to her. They were serving the food now. Eli was next to me on my right. I looked over at him. He wouldn't look at me again. It was ridiculous. I nudged him a little with my elbow. He gazed at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Really?" I questioned a little annoyed.

"Clare." He said looking at me. "I just...I can't." he looked away.

"Why?" I pushed.

"Because then..." Eli closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Then I'd be too tempted to do this."

Suddenly he turned towards me and kissed me on the lips. No one really seemed to notice since it was a short kiss but my mom had seen and she immediately grabbed us both by our wrists and pulled us off to the side of the table.

"Eli, Clare. I understand your feelings towards each other and they are just going to have to stop." She said. I just stared at her. My face was hot and I was angry. It was terrible to be scolded by my mom let alone with Eli there too as my "brother". I just wanted to scream.

"How would you feel if your mom got married to my dad's dad?" Eli said rather loudly.

"You two are supposedly 'in love'. Wouldn't you be pissed if you couldn't be with the person you love?"

"Eli..." I said quietly.

"No, Clare!" He shouted. "I'm not keeping quiet. I can't." I didn't want him to be quiet. Did he just tell my mom that he loves me?

Eli's dad was heading over to us now.

"Son, why don't you go outside for a few minutes and get some air."

My mom looked at her new husband a little teary. Eli stormed out of the hall. By now some people were starting to stare.

"Is he usually like this?" My mom asked.

"Only when he truly feels upset about something, I'm sure he'll be fine." His dad said.

"Ugh, You two make me sick." I said walking toward the door to follow Eli.

"Clare!" My mother said shocked.

I ignored her and burst through the doors.


	2. Part 2

A/N: Wow, it seems like a lot of you like this story more than I thought. I intended for it to just be a one shot but now I'm thinking if after this next part you guys like it enough maybe I can make it a full story. :] Sorry if this part is weird, it's hard to write in this P.O.V.

I'm glad you all like it and think it's original and not creepy incest. Lol. Please review and let me know if you think I should make another part after this instead of just ending it.

**Eli's P.O.V**

I paced back and forth in the parking lot of the hall. I didn't want to upset my dad and I knew there was nothing they could do about the marriage now but they could at least try to understand. I didn't understand why they had to think of Clare and I as brother as sister. Couldn't they just be married and happy and Clare and I stay the same and act like nothing has changed?

"Eli...?" Clare's soft voice spoke from behind me. I turned around. She seemed really upset as her blue eyes stared at the ground.

"Clare, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"No it's fine...I just...Do you love me Eli?" This took me by surprise. Didn't she know that I loved her? I mean, we had never said it but I figured it was obvious.

"I did when it was 'acceptable.' " I joked. She didn't think it was very funny, I could tell by the look she gave me.

I walked over to her and took both her hands in mine.

"Of course I do Clare."

"Why didn't you ever say it?" She asked me with tears now forming in her eyes.

"I didn't want you to think I was saying it for the wrong reasons."

"What like, Sex?" She asked. "Eli, I don't think that of you." By now she was crying. I wiped one of the tears off her face as it reached her chin.

"I'm sorry...I should have said it. Now it's too late." I said. I guess I was afraid she'd be scared and not say it back. It's not like I hadn't said it to someone before. I had no problem telling Julia that I loved her so why was it an issue for me to tell Clare? We balanced each other so well. I brought out the side of her she didn't know she had and she calmed me down when I needed it most. Even with just a look.

"I love you." I said placing my hand on her cheek and looking into her eyes.

"I love you too." She said still crying. I brought her close to me and placed my lips on hers. Kissing her was perfect. I didn't need anything more from her.

I pulled away and held her in my arms in a hug.

"Eli, I have something to tell you." She said with her face buried slightly in my shoulder.

"What is it?" I asked concerned.

"Well I...I was thinking a lot right before my mom told me that she was marrying your dad and I had decided that I wanted to...Too uhm..." What the heck was she going to say?

"To do it with you." She finally said.

" 'do it' ?" I asked even though I was pretty sure I knew what she meant.

"Yeah...You know 'it' "

"I'm not sure I do." I joked. Mostly because I didn't think she was serious. There was no way Clare even considered that.

"Stop." She pleaded. "I'm serious." She said looking into my eyes sternly. I froze for a minute. She really wasn't kidding.

"Oh your...Not joking?" I gulped.

"No." she said obviously a little hurt.

"I didn't mean it like that." I apologized. "Just...Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to do it and then not be able to do it ever again because of the marriage."

Stupid marriage! I yelled in my head.

"Wait...Clare, that's it!"

"What's it?" She asked me confused.

"The way for us to show our parents how much we mean to each other. Maybe if they see that we really do love each other then my dad won't adopt you and Darcy."

"But...they wouldn't be able to tell that we did it. They'd have to take our word for it."

"Clare, knowing your mom she'd take you to the doctor just to make sure."

She laughed a little.

"Your right But, we are gonna be living in the same house, when would we have time?"

"Who says we have to wait?" I asked.

**Clare's P.O.V**

"What do you mean? Where would we-" Suddenly Eli grabbed my hand and pulled me further into the parking lot. He was crazy if he thought I was going to lose my virginity in a parking lot.

"Eli, where are we going?"

He didn't answer he just kept dragging me. We stopped in front of the limo. Eli walked over to one of the doors and tried to open it. It was locked. By now I was getting pretty nervous.

"Oh well, it's locked, guess we should go back."

"Please Clare. When have you known me to give up that easily?" He said. He was right; it was rare he'd just give up on something like this. I watched as he pulled something out of his pocket and put it in the keyhole while jiggling the door handle. After a few seconds the door opened.

"Don't they put alarms on limos?" I asked almost in desperation. It wasn't that I didn't want to do it with Eli it was just that I didn't think it was going to happen right now. I had prepared myself and everything. I went to the doctor without my mom knowing and got birth control pills.

"Guess not." He said in response to my question. He climbed into the limo. After a few seconds of me not following him and climbed back out.

"Would you like to join me?" He smirked. I smiled shyly and walked over. He took my hand lightly and led me inside. Earlier this thing seemed like a prison because I was trapped with him and we weren't talking but now it was different.

"You're sure this is what you want?" Eli asked me.

"I am. Didn't picture it like this but..." before I could finish my sentence Eli was kissing me. He had never kissed me this way before. It was slow and passionate and it made me feel like I have never felt before. He stopped and looked at me intently. For a moment I was speechless.

"Yes?" I finally managed to ask.

**Eli's P.O.V**

I smiled a little at Clare's innocence. I knew that she was nervous and even though I was extremely anxious I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. I was far from where she was -a virgin I mean. It had been a few years since I had lost mine.

"Just checking." I said.

"Checking what? That I haven't changed my mind?" She asked. I nodded and she shook her head.

"I've thought about it for a long time and I'm sure." She said pushing herself closer to me. I leaned in to kiss her again placing my fingers in between her short locks of hair. She wrapped both her arms around my neck and began kissing me back with the same passion as I was giving her. It was taking a lot of my self control to not just rip off her dress right away. I wanted this to be special.

I ran my tongue across her lips as she parted them allowing me to taste he tongue. It wasn't the first time we had kissed like this but it certainly was the first time there had been this much emotion in it. I cradled her head as I lay her down on the leather seats of the limo still kissing her gently. She stopped me suddenly and looked at me.

"What?" I asked. Did I do something wrong already?

"You don't have to treat me like a fragile little doll you know." She said seeming a little upset.

"Clare, I'm not. I just want it to be special."

"Well, let's say this is the only time we get to do it. Won't you be upset if there's no roughness involved?"

"What makes you think I like it that way?" I asked her smirking. "Seems like you'd be the one who's upset."

She blushed a little and I laughed. I pushed her back down onto the seat a bit more roughly than I previously had. I wasn't inexperienced, I'm sure I could mix it up.

**Clare's P.O.V**

Our tongues played in each other's mouth's and without realizing I had moaned rather loudly than I intended. With my eyes closed I could just see Eli's face smirking at me with his adorable crooked smile. He played with my hair a bit as he began kissing me down my chin then down my neck and finally he ran his tongue across my collar bone. I gasped a little and I could feel Eli's breath on my skin as he laughed a little. I wanted to tell him not to laugh at me but I couldn't even get the words out. I found myself speechless again and too caught in the moment. He pushed my spaghetti strap of my dress off my left shoulder like it was nothing. As if I had lost control of my own hands I felt them tugging at the waist line of Eli's pants.

I sat myself up and forcefully removed Eli's jacket and shirt. I could tell by his expression that he was not expecting me to be like this and I certainly wasn't either but it was like I had lost control. Like some force I had never known before had taken over me. Of course many times before this I had fantasized about what it would be like to have sex with Eli but now I was finally here. He lay me back down on the seat and I realized it was going to be much more difficult to have all our clothes off then I previously thought. Eli went back to the position he was in and pulled off the other strap of my dress. I slipped my arms out of both of the straps and almost instantly he pulled my dress and bra down to my stomach. I closed my eyes and bit my lip almost afraid of what was coming next. I felt Eli's skin touch mine as he brought his mouth close to my ear.

"Clare, Don't close your eyes I want you to look at me."

I peeked out of one eye very nervously as he brought his hand down to cup my breast and then without hesitation licked my nipple. I squirmed in anticipation and pulled on Eli's hair. He continued licking and sucking causing me to squirm more as my back arched. I tried to stay focused but everything was quickly becoming blurry and I felt dizzy. I managed to reach down to the bulge that had formed in Eli's pants and massaged it in my palm. He moaned and seemed a little surprised. Suddenly I felt his hand on my thigh. He sat up as best he could without hitting his head on the ceiling of the limo and I reached for the button of his pants. He smiled down at me and I smiled back. This was really embarrassing. I finally managed to undo his pants but now I was too nervous to do anything else. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"C'mon blue eyes, They aren't gonna take themselves off." He joked.

I took a deep breath and slid his pants and boxers down towards his knees. He leaned back over me and began sliding his hand up my thigh underneath my dress. I felt his finger wrap around the bottom part of my underwear as he pushed it aside. I gasped quickly and held my breath.

I squirmed again as he teased the outside of me. My underwear had been wet and now I could feel the seat underneath me slowly becoming wet. I moaned loudly and called out Eli's name.

"Yes Clare?" He answered me almost nonchalant but I could tell by his voice that he wanted me.

"Stop teasing me." I begged squirming trying to move his fingers into me.

"Oh fine, your no fun."

I laughed slightly but then my laughter turned into a moan. With no hesitation Eli had done what I had asked. It felt different than I had imagined it but it felt good. I felt a mix of different emotions then as he continually moved his fingers in and out of me. Sadness, Excitement, Enjoyment. It was weird to feel so many different things at once. Eli leaned over me and looked into my eyes and I looked back into his gorgeous green ones.

"Are you ready?" He asked me.

**Eli's P.O.V**

I watched Clare nod slowly, obviously nervous. It was odd because I was nervous too. It hadn't been my first time but it was my first time with Clare. The girl I was in love with. It was different because she had never done it before. I placed both my hands on either side of Clare onto the seat to hold myself up. This limo was smaller than I thought it was and it was hard to move around. I looked at Clare never removing my gaze from hers and then I slowly entered her. She closed her eyes tight and let out a loud moan her hips lifting up pushing me further into her. I leaned down and kissed her while still moving in and out of her.

"Clare...I love you." I managed to get out through heavy breathing.

"I...love you too." She said back wrapping her hands around my neck and running her fingers through my hair.

I held my gaze to hers as she called out my name louder each time. I loved hearing her say my name. I was losing track of time enjoying myself but then remember that someone could come looking for us so I continued but went faster as I did it made Clare moan louder.

"Yes!" She screamed digging her nails into my neck. This caused me to moan too and I could feel myself getting closer and closer.

"Eli.." She breathed and I looked at her unable to even say anything.

"I want you to...cum inside of me." As she spoke it felt like a dream. I wasn't expecting Clare to say something like that. I nodded not questioning her and moved in and out of her faster. Every thrust pushed me closer and then Clare lifted up her legs and wrapped them around my waist. Finally I released inside of her and she moaned loudly again and did I.

I stayed there for a minute just staring at her catching my breath. She looked up at me with her amazing blue eyes.

"Are you alright?" I asked her.

She nodded. "I'm great." She smiled.

I pulled myself out of her slowly and sat on the seat. Clare tried to get up but collapsed back down onto the seat. I laughed and tried my best to squeeze and lay down next to her. I kissed her on the cheek.

"We need to get back.." she trailed off obviously tired.

I rolled my eyes not wanting to go back to reality.

"We'll go in a minute." I said holding her in my arms.

**Clare's P.O.V**

I opened my eyes. The sky outside was dark. I sat up quickly looking around. It was hot and sticky inside the limo. I looked over at Eli. He was asleep. I shook him.

"Eli, get up we have to go back, we must have fallen asleep." He groaned and sat up.

"Damn...What time is it?" He asked.

"I don't know." I panicked dressing myself. Eli put his clothes back on too and we crept out of the limo. I looked back in and saw the mess we had made. Some of the glasses were on the ground and the seats were wet.

"Shouldn't we clean it?" I asked. Eli laughed and took my hand bringing me back into the hall. I wondered if I looked okay or if I looked like a mess and everyone would right away be able to tell that I had just lost my virginity in a limo on the day of my mom's wedding.

"Clare!" My mom yelled walking over to me and Eli.

"Where were you?" She said sounding worried. I looked at Eli. He smirked.

"We...Took a walk." I said probably sounding unconvincing. Eli laughed but then coughed to try to cover it. I looked at my mom and smiled.

"Uh...Okay." She said obviously not buying it and beginning to turn away.

"Mom, Wait."I called. She turned to look at me and I could see Eli look at me too.

"Eli and I...We, We love each other."

"Yes Clare, That's all I've heard you two say all day."

"So that's why we...We...We had sex." I finally spat out.

My mother stood there staring at me. She looked like a statue. It was like she didn't even know me anymore. Her gazed passed through me and finally she fell back onto the floor and fainted.

"Oh god!" I yelled as I stumbled over to her. "Mom! I killed her!" I cried.

Eli laughed. His father came over to try to help my mom. Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at me again.

"Please tell me you're joking. That your just trying to make me angry." She asked me sitting up. I wanted to lie to her. I wanted to tell her that I was just lying so Eli's dad wouldn't adopt me. That it was just suppose to be a joke. But something inside of me pushed me toward the truth.

"No mom, I'm not."

"Clare...We will talk about this later." She said storming off. She couldn't even talk about this now?

"That went...Well." Eli said

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, real well."

"So...Was it worth it?" He smirked.

I laughed and pushed his arm playfully. I walked over to take my seat back at the table. He followed after me and grabbed my wrist. I turned toward him.

"Yes Elijah?" I joked.

"I love you Clare." he said seriously.

"And I love you Eli." I smiled. He pulled me in for a long kiss. People stared. But this time, I didn't care.


End file.
